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Top 100 Friendship Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes On Friends

Top 100 Friendship Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes On Friends



1. Friends come and go like the waves of the ocean… but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.
2. Never tell your friends,  I told you so  – even when you did.
3. Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.
4. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
5. One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
6. There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.
7. A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body.
8. Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life.
9. When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.
10. It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.
11. It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’
12. Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
13. You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.
14. Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long.
15. It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
16. Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.
17. Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.
18. A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
19. Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.
20. There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
21. One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.
22. The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
23. Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.
24. You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
25. Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
26. Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’
27. Between friends, differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality.
28. There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.
29. Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.
30. Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
31. I likeyou because you join in my weirdness.
32. Best friends loan out DVDs knowing that they’ll never be seen again.
33. Never tell your friends,  I told you so  – even when you did.
34. The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.
35. I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.
36. When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.
37. When a woman like that whom I’ve seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare you a moment, it means a man.
38. Good friends offer a shoulder when you need to cry. Best friends are there with a shovel to beat up who made you cry.
39. Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.
40. Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
41. You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. But it helps.
42. The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist.
43. If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.
44. We have been through thick and thin together. You do remember thin don’t you?
45. Friends do not let friends do silly things…alone.
46. If you have friends who are as weird as you, then you have everything.
47. I love that our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.
48. We are best friends- always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up after I finish laughing.
49. You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You are everything I ever wanted in a friend.
50. In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
51. The real test of friendship is can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?
52. A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.
53. It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
54. Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.
55. If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the                   most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.
56. Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.
57. One’s friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.
58. For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
59. Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm & constant.
60. Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…’
61. It doesn’t matter where you’re going, it’s who you have beside you.
62. There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.
63. It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
64. A friend indeed is someone who stands by you in hard times and always celebrate your successes.
65. Anyone can make you joyful by doing something great but a special friend can make you happy without having done anything special for you.
66. I Got Your Back-I will never leave a true friend behind.
67. Behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful women who have her back.
68. True friends do not judge each other, they judge people together.
69. This Friendship Day, let's pause to remember how empty our lives would be without alcohol.
70. I'd like to use Friendship Day to reassure you that you're not the one member of our group no one likes...
71. Friendship Day is the perfect time to not reflect on the friends I've methodically erased from my life.
72. Friendship Day is the perfect time to thank you for lending me money and to see if I can borrow more.
73. This Friendship Day, I promise to focus mostly on your good qualities when talking behind your back.
74. There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE.
75. A phone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection. A picture is a form of remembrance, CHOOSING me as your FRIEND is a form of...ehem GOOD TASTE!
76. Good Friend; Will lend you money and not expect you to pay them back. Best Friend; Will lend you money and then charge interest.
77. Friends knock on your door. Best friends walk into your house and start eating.
78. Laughing at our friends, we avenge the disappointment they have caused.
79. A true friend is somebody who you call at 3 a.m. and say "I'm in a prison in Mexico" and he replies "No worries, I'll be there in seconds."
80. If you really want your friends to remember you, give them something cheap.
81. A lifelong friend is someone you haven't borrowed money from yet.
82. I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
83. I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
84. Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends shortcomings.
85. The art of giving advice to best friends is to make them believe that they thought of it themselves.
86. I cannot forgive my friends for dying; I do not find these vanishing acts of theirs at all amusing.
87. Two people are never such good friends as when they are share a mutual dislike of a third person.
88. Heaven must be an awfully dull place if your best friends end up elsewhere.
89. In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.
90. Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
91. A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "boy was that fun."
92. I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
93. An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.
94. My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
95. Everyone should have at least two friends - one to talk to and one to talk about.
96. The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
97. Your friend is the man who knows you and still likes you.
98. Money cant buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.
99. Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
100. A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.